Whimsy

Cinco de Mayo and Other Reassuring Post-Pandemic Thoughts

Cinco de Mayo and Other Reassuring Post-Pandemic Thoughts

Today is Cinco de Mayo. It seems to come out on May 5 every year, and 2021 is no exception. I find this reassuring.

Finding things to reassure us has become a mandatory quest following The Year of Living Pandemically. I realize we’re still not entirely out of the woods, frying pan or hot water (pick your operative cliché) but at least, if we’ve been vaccinated, we don’t size up everyone we pass on the street as a member of a dystopic horror-movie race of zombies called The Carriers.

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A BP Saga with (Coke) Zero Pressure

A BP Saga with (Coke) Zero Pressure

“BP” may stand for British Petroleum to many of us who still drive non-electric cars, which could be as many as 284.5 million, according to this column’s intrepid fact-checker, Wayda Seck. BP is that place you pull into when you can’t find a Shell, Union 76 or ARCO station and are afraid if you buy the gas at a mini-market it’ll have the same horsepower as the Twinkies and Coke Zero you impulse-buy there.

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My Adventures in the Gig(gle) Economy

My Adventures in the Gig(gle) Economy

I’ve been a fulltime member of what’s now called the Gig Economy since 1984. From 1970 until then, I held genuine jobs but also had a number of what are now call “side hustles”—which, when you string enough of those together, pretty much comprise the Gig Economy.

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Prevent Cataract Surgery: Have a Drink

Prevent Cataract Surgery: Have a Drink

We’re learning that moderate alcohol drinking may help you avoid cataract surgery. In just four words: Now ya tell me.

A few years ago I underwent cataract operations on both of my eyes, separated by a few months (the operations, not my eyes) to allow my normally slow recovery time to enjoy a luxurious convalescence.

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Some Prose on Posing

Some Prose on Posing

I watch as two waiters stand together, back-to-back, surveying the dining room at The Sutter Club’s “L Street Bistro,” the cleverly converted third floor of the institution’s parking garage. It was created to keep serving meals and cocktails to the club’s membership when COVID requirements forced restaurants to serve only al fresco.

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Altered States? On Adding Some New Union Members

Altered States? On Adding Some New Union Members

A growing group of activists, mainly Democrats, think Washington, D.C., should be our 51st state. I’m all for it. And while we’re at it, let’s make Puerto Rico #52, Guam #53 and talk to Israel to see if it would be interested in being #54.

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Exclusive! A Transcript of Prince Harry’s Job Interview

Exclusive! A Transcript of Prince Harry’s Job Interview

It was reported recently in every conceivable news outlet, on all social media websites, via carrier puffins and by zombie Pony Express riders that Prince Harry—aka, the Duke or Duck of Sussex, depending on how badly you suffer from Anglophilia—has been hired by the Aspen Institute’s Commission on Information Disorder.

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Here’s a Sneak Peek at Some Summer Apps

Here’s a Sneak Peek at Some Summer Apps

Through a complicated process involving a fair amount of bribery, physical threats and, above all, remembering to say “please” and “thank you so much,” Sylvio Sylvie, The Goldman State’s chief enforcer and thief, has managed to cadge a sneak preview of apps due for summer 2021 release.

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