News Flash: Smoking’s Addictive!
Also: Lease-to-own a T-Rex skull!
By Ed Goldman
QUIBBLES & BITS:
– SMOKED LOCKS— Scientists have found that the reduction of nicotine in the manufacture of cigarettes may result in a corresponding reduction of cigarette smoking by people.
In related news, cutting down on your daily consumption of an entire chocolate-cream pie may result in weight loss, and it sure gets dark when the sun goes down.
Let’s face it: Nicotine is the main reason people smoke cigarettes. While other reasons may include having a death wish and/or an insatiable desire to pretend they’re Humphrey Bogart or Bette Davis, people seem to love the rush that nicotine, burning tar and facing chemotherapy can provide.
Ergo, they don’t buy cigarettes because they’re hooked on the filters or the paper wrapping or bygone TV/radio commercials.
– DUG-SKULLERY—If you have about $30 million bucks in disposable income lying around—and the notion of using it to help feed the hungry, house the homeless or pay off my credit cards has yet to cross your mind—you may want to consider buying the skull of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
If you’d rather buy it on time by, say, making a down payment of $20 million and paying off the rest in 15 years, I’m sure it can be worked out. That’d be 180 months of payments: the principal each month would be about $56,000; interest would add at least another 30 percent, or nearly $17,000. So you’d pay around $73,000 per month for 180 months: In 15 years, you’ll therefore have paid about $13 million on an initial debt of $10 million.
Jurassic and tired
If those figures seem alarming, take comfort in these two facts:
- You’ll get to enjoy having that T-Rex skull the whole time you’re paying it off. And if you should miss payments and it gets repossessed by the seller or seller’s agents, you won’t for a moment miss having the hideous monstrosity in your home or office;
- I know nothing about math and for all I know, the payments I cited will be considerably less or alarmingly more. Check with your tax advisor or smartphone calculator.
The skull was discovered in South Dakota, and I imagine it was pretty easy to spot. After all, “the state ranks fifth-lowest in both total population as well as population density in the United States,” according to Wikipedia, the ad-free/fee-free/accuracy-light online resource (whose pledge breaks are only slightly less disconcerting than those on public radio and much worse, public TV: “We’ll get back to the conclusion of ‘Citizen Kane’ in just a few moments. I’m sure we’d all like to know what’s burning in that incinerator. But first…!”).
Anyway, because South Dakota isn’t what you’d call heavily peopled, there probably weren’t a lot of crowds to wade through when someone shouted, “Hey, looky here! I may be wrong, but I think this is a Tyrannosaurus Rex skull next to my Winnebago in the Arby’s parking lot.” (While I haven’t verified that quote yet I do know there are 20 Arby’s in the state. Or at least according to Wikipedia.).
– THE LATEST NEWS—Finally, when we encounter a Facebook or LinkedIn post that’s even two hours out of date, we freak out. “That entry on Kim Kardashian is so Tuesday,” one might be given to lament (if one were entirely not me).
Yet the basis of all our religions and cultural check-ins is stuff that might or might not have happened a long time ago.
We go to a church, temple or drive-in cathedral to hear the same tales from whatever bible is ours. Do we somehow expect the stories to end differently this time? Will God let Abraham sacrifice his son after all (“With the kid out of the picture, I can use the extra room as a home theater,” Abraham might ponder). Will Pontius Pilate give up his title as governor of Judaea, reverse his decision about crucifying Jesus Christ and open a series of strenuous-workout studios (Pony’s Pilates)?
Meanwhile, we watch favorite old movies and rarely stop to think that we not only know how they’ll end but also that the actors we’re either still pining for or still emulating have been dead for decades.
The Sacramento Bee, my local newspaper, often prints stories two days after the fact—ergo, people given only an hour to live may want to move here and buy themselves another 48 hours.
So who cares if Facebook and LinkedIn are up to the second with their items? On time or three days late, they’re equally devoid of interest.
Ed Goldman's column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock’s Business Magazine, he’s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).
Yes, Virginia
A Weekly Blog by Virginia Varela
President, Golden Pacific Bank, a Division of SoFi Bank, Inc.
photo by Phoebe Verkouw
AN IMPORTANT ANNIVERSARY
February 2, 2022, marked the one-year anniversary of SoFi’s acquisition of Golden Pacific Bank, and it’s been a helluva great ride since then!
In the press release related to the 2022 acquisition, SoFi’s CEO Anthony Noto stated: “We believe that by pursuing a national bank charter, we will be able to help even more people get their money right with enhanced value and more products and services…” Did Anthony predict that correctly? Wow! Boy did he ever!
Last week SoFi posted 2022 financials and public releases noting incredible successes. In public statements centered on fourth-quarter 2023 achievements, he indicated that revenue growth has exceeded market expectations.
SoFi’s deposits grew to $7.3 billion from $1 billion over the last 2022 annual year period. Best of all, SoFi’s been able to use those deposits to fund low-cost loans, unlike other fintechs which lack bank charters.
Significantly, the bank’s lending net interest income exceeded non-interest revenue for the first time in its history.
“We’ve been in an all-out sprint over the last five years to build out our digital product suite to meet our members’ needs for every major financial decision in their lives, and all the days in between,” Anthony said. “The benefits of our strategy result in a uniquely diversified business, [which] combined with a national bank license, not only position SoFi to be the winner that takes most…but also provide greater durability through the market cycle.”
Not surprisingly, the market responded favorably to Anthony’s remarks that SoFi expects to be profitable on a GAAP basis by the fourth quarter of this year. SoFi’s stock moved swiftly upward with this latest earnings news.
In the February 2, 2022, press release at the time of the merger, in my capacity as CEO of Golden Pacific Bancorp at that time, I said, “We’re excited for this new partnership with SoFi and the strength it will bring to enhance our ability to serve our customers at the highest level.” That statement also proved true in this past year. Golden Pacific Bank, as a division of SoFi Bank, N.A., continued its commitment to bringing more services and convenience for individual customers, small business, and the communities we serve in the greater Sacramento area and surrounding counties.
It’s been a true win-win.
By becoming a national bank charter, SoFi can accept deposits and make loans with more efficiency. Golden Pacific now has the strength of capital, technology, resources and a wider product line and services. As for me, I was the CEO of an incredible community bank, and now I’m the President/Head of community banking at an incredibly successful and fintech turned national bank. I’m working with all of the same great staff, and meeting really smart new people and learning interesting, enhanced banking approaches.
It’s been an incredible journey and one of life’s adventures that went beyond my wildest dreams. Onward we go!
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