Eye Rolling in Our Time—or, Socket to Me
When did this qualify as a genuine gesture?
By Ed Goldman
I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now roll your eyes at whatever the other says whenever you feel the need.”
—Okay, I’ve never heard a wedding officiant actually say that but the day may not be far off. Why has eye rolling become so ubiquitous?
The Mona Lesser
You see one half of couples do it regularly but at least not at the same time—unless they’re listening to an earnest demand from their teenaged kids to let them attend a friend’s 16th birthday destination party. In Prague.
I’m guessing that teens have used the gesture since prehistoric times.
DAD: Og, clean your corner of cave.
OG: rolling his eyes: Arg. (Translation: Yeah, right.)
Can you imagine Mozart’s piano teacher telling the musical prodigy what he was doing wrong?
TEACHER: Wolfie, your fingering when the composer calls for accelerato is too stiff.
MOZART: Ja, genau (Translation: “Yeah, right.”)
In the arts, eye rolling has always had a number of meanings, none of which you could call upbeat, inspirational or encouraging. I’ve been both a victim and perp of it.
The victimization occurred when an attendee at the opening reception for a show of my paintings looked over my work, then my artist’s statement and didn’t realize that the guy standing behind him was the painter (me, in case I’m going too fast). He rolled his eyes so far back in his head I half expected them to pop through the skin in the back of his neck, then roll down his body and across the acid-washed floor of the gallery. “Oh, pleeeease,” he said (softly, at least).
To this day I’ve been curious to know which he was sneering at, the paintings or the artist’s statement. I could handle learning it was the latter since these documents are, by nature, exercises in rhetorical hemorrhaging. To be candid, I could also handle it if he was mocking the paintings since it was one of my rare shows to sell out. Actually, my only show to sell out. Still.
As I mentioned, I was also the perpetrator of some arts-related eye rolling. It happened at another show in which some of my paintings were exhibited. The gallery owner had puckishly suggested I affix a red dot to one of my pieces, indicating it had been sold. It was a ploy to get collectors to think there was about to be a run on my paintings.
It all went to hell when someone I didn’t know sought me out to say he’d wanted to buy the painting with the red dot but “gosh darn it all,” someone had beat him to it (indicated by the red dot, in case I’m still going too fast). I laughed and said no, that sale fell through so he was more than welcome to purchase the piece. As he stammered and hemmed and hawed about whether he had the needed wall space to “fully do justice” to the work, I found myself simultaneously patting his arm to reassure him and rolling my eyes.
In the fashion world, your ability to roll your eyes is an important prerequisite to your getting hired at a magazine, design house or modeling agency. So is a seemingly innate gift for making snotty remarks which have less to do with wit than with attitude.
For example, “What a manifest launch for your line of open-toed combat boots” isn’t especially urbane (or even comprehensible)—but delivered in the right tone and accompanied by an eye roll best described as searching, you’ll soon be able to write your own ticket as a correspondent for Vogue.
Really? you ask. Ja, genau.
Ed Goldman's column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock’s Business Magazine, he’s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).
Yes, Virginia
A Weekly Blog by Virginia Varela
President, Golden Pacific Bank, a Division of SoFi Bank, N.A.
photo by Phoebe Verkouw
…AND JUSTICE FOR ALL, NOT JUST FOR SOME
TThe opposite of poverty is not wealth; the opposite of poverty is justice.”
Bryan Stevenson—someone I admire greatly, and whom I once had the pleasure of meeting in person, made that memorable observation. Stevenson is an American lawyer, social justice activist, law professor at New York University School of Law, and the founder and executive director of the Equal Justice Initiative.
From police to prosecutors to courts and legislatures, the justice system is premised on the notion that rich and poor are treated equally. Enter the Sacramento Justice League, a nonprofit corporation in Sacramento offering the community free or low-cost legal services. The league consists of volunteer legal professionals and other community members to fill the gap between the services low-income people need and the services that are currently available.
The Sacramento Justice League offers in-person clinics for individuals with legal issues who need direct advice. Its Family Law/Eviction Response Clinics offer the opportunity for those who can’t afford a private attorney to speak with a lawyer about their case. Services available at these clinics include advice, document review, document preparation, and support.
I should mention that the advice is FREE—and that the league’s document services are offered on a sliding-scale basis.
Recognizing that every member of the Sacramento Justice League team is dedicated to making a difference, Golden Pacific Bank, a division of SoFi Bank, N.A., recently awarded a $10,000 grant to the Sacramento Justice League. The league’s very gratifying response:
“We here at the Sacramento Justice League are honored to be named the recipient of SoFi/GPB’s grant to improve local communities! By helping local businesses and social justice programs like ourselves, GPB contributes to the health and economic wellbeing of Sacramento and its inhabitants.
“We would also like to acknowledge the Sacramento Branch Manager, Latif Yusufi, for his exemplary service. He has always had our best interests in mind and ready with suggestions to help our business succeed.
“Thank you and GPB for everything you do!
“Sincerely
Paul McClain, Project Manager”
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