Of Armrests, Gyms and Eateries: A Potpourri of Piss-offs
We take our usual shallow dive into a pond of peeves
By Ed Goldman
Whose armrest is it, anyway? And while we’re at it:
(1) Whose workout room TV?
(2) Whose dinner reservation, which you made before the host seated people who arrived after you—and after they greeted the host by name and in his native Chalcatongo Mixtec (the official language of Oaxaca, Mexico. No, really).
Volume discount
These are the questions that may seem trivial or even petty, mainly because they are, when compared to global issues such as who owns a plot of land, whose religion is better and how to license confiscated wartime art treasures.
But I firmly believe armrest possession, gym television rights and faux reservations are just as capable of fomenting everything from a sock in the jaw to a citizen’s arrest, from telling someone to firetruck himself (but leaving out five key letters) to, at the very least, issuing a stern memo on lawyer-looking letterhead. (Helpful hint to those attempting the latter: Merely putting “Esq.” after your name won’t do it, especially you’ve done so in crayon.)
The armrest issue usually comes up with airline seating or, as it’s also known, Death by a Thousand Leg Cramps, Welcome to the Sardine Factory and Why Am I Inhaling Your Carbon Dioxide?
Etiquette experts have been weighing in on the armrests issue to no avail. And apparently, the airlines, which usually do everything in their power to keep us comfortable, informed and relaxed—except, you know, giving a flying firetruck about all of the preceding—don’t have any rules about it. Nor do they have any rules about the following:
(a) How many times the five-year-old sitting in front of you can recline and return his seat in the span of a minute (or how frequently the five-year-old sitting behind you may kick the back of your seat);
(b) Why the window-seat passenger is allowed to pull down the shade just as you lean over to catch the sunset;
(c) Why a fellow passenger is allowed to take up all the space in the overhead bin with her fold-up conference kiosk; and
(d) Why the person in the middle seat was allowed to board with a designated service pit-bull that gets flatulent at high altitudes.
So let’s discuss our second concern: Who owns the TV, or at least the remote control (ergo, programming rights) in your workout room?
Obviously, I’m not talking about a workout room in your own home—though if you have enough space to have created one, surely you can tell your spouse, roomie or child to wait until you’re done before they switch the channel to the Neo-Nazi Newshour or a PBS special, “NOVA: Animals Killing Animals (in 3-D Where Available).”
No, I’m talking about a public gym, or even one at a private club, where the viewing schedule seems to be determined on a first-come/first-nerve basis. This can be problematic if there’s only one TV set in the room or even if there are plenty of sets but one of your fellow exercisers is legally deaf. Even if you agree with that person’s politics, which is unlikely, do you really want to hear about a 37-car pileup on a fog-shrouded freeway in Cape Disappointment, Washington before you’ve had coffee? (Yes, that’s a real city and one of the foggiest in the U.S.)
Finally, let’s talk about dinner reservations. You arrive at the appointed time and are seated in the bar for 20 minutes. When you ask why it took 20 minutes to seat you even though you had a reservation, the answer is, “We got a number of walk-ins.”
If you need me, I’ll be dining in the Cape Disappointment Denny’s.
Ed Goldman's column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock’s Business Magazine, he’s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).
Yes, Virginia
A Weekly Blog by Virginia Varela
President, Golden Pacific Bank, a Division of SoFi Bank, N.A.
photo by Phoebe Verkouw
TAKING INTO ACCOUNT WOMEN IN BANKING
Throughout my adult life, I have been so impressed with many women in the workplace, and their progress and ambitions to make a difference. Having women in leadership gives a tangible aura to a company, and fosters understanding, stronger collaboration, and promotion of social equality.
Differences are to be celebrated. Women executives can be every bit as strategic as men—but we also have a genuinely nurturing capacity, one that allows us to consider what might be called emotional equity as well as the fiscal kind in tackling the day-to-day local, regional and global challenges of business.
Women largely make up the majority of bank employees, and are some of the hardest, most ambitious workers I know. I can easily cite a number of women employees with great experience, talent, loyalty and commitment. In fact, according to the American Bankers Association, women make up more than 50% of the banking industry workforce. In addition, women are more educated and rated higher for leadership.
And yet, women don’t seem to make their way up the corporate ladder with the same ease as men often do, and too many women get stuck in entry-level positions.
From this historical perspective, the pipeline may look bleak—but the fight is ongoing and there really is a bright future ahead.
For example, the percentage of women CEOs of banks is on the increase. When I first started as President and CEO of a bank in 2010, only about 2.5% of United States banks had a woman CEO. Today, it’s 7.5%.
Progress is slow and hard-earned. But banks are beginning to include women on boards at a higher rate than in past years. Companies are increasingly addressing these inequities head-on as they drive toward organizational change.
In the Sacramento area, we have amazing representation of women in historically predominately male-oriented professions: attorneys, lobbyists, venture capitalists, scientists, and now, bankers. If this is a trend, let’s jump on it!
sponsored content
