A new Goldman State Podcast drops every Friday!
We’re Keeping Our Cars Longer. At Least It Seems Longer
We’ve stopped buying new autos automatically
By Ed Goldman
The auto industry is abuzz, bereft and altogether bummed to learn that people are keeping their cars longer because of economic anxiety. Drivers figure they still have a few more years to pilot their Priuses into utility poles and over parking logs, merge into fast lanes while doing 45 miles per hour and signal to make turns after the light has changed.
But what manufacturers are whining about is a relatively minor disruption: owners are hanging onto their wheels for an average of only three years or so. To deploy some vehicular vernacular, this is not a big honkin’ deal. If one of the financial wizards included me in the equation, the grading curve would look like the EEG read-out of someone in the throes of morphing into monsters like Mister Hyde, the Wolfman or a whole-life insurance salesman.
The road worrier
I’ve owned my car since 2002—and have neither plans to buy nor a resident usury to help me buy a new car anytime soon.
It’s not that my car, a Mercedes 320, is in anything near cherry condition.
It has a couple of dents in the passenger side that are barely visible if you quickly turn away and close your eyes. The steering wheel cover looks like a doily that repeatedly enraged a cat. The familiar Mercedes logo on the back of the car was savaged in a very inept thief’s attempt to liberate the contents of my trunk, and now resembles the international Olympics logo less than a Venn diagram someone drew while drunk.
In addition, my cup holders were vandalized (for real) some years ago, leaving them look like remnants of a final cocktail party in Pompeii—either the glassware or the star-crossed attendees.
But I love it. Unlike today’s SUVs, which sit high on the road, feature TV monitors and still can’t be parallel-parked on a one-way street by at least 70 percent of the population, the undercarriage of my 320 scrapes almost every driveway entrance in well-to-do neighborhoods, occasionally causing sparks I personally find festive.
I operate the car’s sideview mirror, controlled by a mini-motor it would cost me more than $400 to replace at the dealership, by hand, which I firmly believe is helping train one of my thumbs to be more dexterous when texting.
One of my rear windows seems delighted to swiftly slide downward at the touch of a button but somewhat recalcitrant to do a return ascent until I slide out of the car onto the gravel (I mentioned it’s built low to the ground, didn’t I?), slide a spatula covered in half-chewed Trident sugarless gum down the window shaft and, just a few tortured yanks and silent prayers later, ka-thunk its way back into position.
If you think the aforementioned are of dubious value, here’s one the drivers of new-ish cars might appreciate. While I have the automotive knowhow of an alpaca, I know my car. When an upselling mechanic tells me my brakes are “about to go” and need new shoes, socks and garter belts, I usually know better—because I’ve driven the car when the brakes were low and can feel the difference.
(Disclaimer: If you’re unsure of your own brakes, don’t emulate me. I carry liability insurance for people tripping on my porch and falling into my cactus garden but not for people who think I’m related to the guys who hosted National Public Radio’s “Car Talk.” I loved that show but confess that for me, it was like listening to a broadcast of News From Albania, in its native tongue.)
Finally, I have to say that cars today are built much better than they were 30 years ago—with the exception of the ones subjected to those pesky recalls when their tires blow out on speed bumps and safety bags burst into flames when the little ball you leave dangling from your garage roof to help you park taps your windshield. To recap, keeping your car a few extra years can make financial and emotional sense—as long as you don’t use your savings to buy a whole-life insurance policy.
Don’t forget! A new Goldman State Podcast drops every Friday!
Ed Goldman's column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock’s Business Magazine, he’s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).