Finish That Cliché (Or You Wont Get Dessert)!
Based on a true story. Oops, that’s another one
By Ed Goldman
Don’t you hate when a cliché is left hanging in the air, just waiting for some wise-acre to come along and put it (and you) out of its (and your) misery?
I talked it over with this column’s nonbinary bromide consultant, Banal Retention, and she/he/they/it presented a list of possible endings to suspended homilies:
AT THE END OF THE DAY…it gets dark outside.
IT IS WHAT IT IS…and tomorrow it’ll be what it’ll be and you can say of today that it was what it was.
We’re slashing précis for the new year!
WHEN IN ROME…try the gnocchi at Ristorante da Augustea. I did in 1983 and am still smacking my lips plus refusing to launder the tie I was wearing that I accidentally dipped in the marinara sauce.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED…would take much more time than I’ve budgeted.
TO COIN A PHRASE…let’s hire a branding team.
WELL, YOU CAN’T WIN FOR LOSING…unless you join Weight Watchers or play the California lottery.
I COULD SAY SOMETHING BUT I WON’T…mainly because I’ve devoted all my brain power to coining a phrase.
EASY COME, EASY GO…but enough about my investment in Ask Jeeves.
AND SO IT GOES…since “it” is no longer what “it” is, was and henceforth will ever be.
YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING…or at least I hope you do because the only one I can think of recalls my childhood winters in New York City: “Stop eating the yellow snow, Edward.”
JUST A “HEADS UP”… that our “tails” are about to be in a lot of trouble with the head office.
AGAINST ALL ODDS…we just won the fantasy baseball pool and a fantasy date with Bradley Cooper.
WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT…even if I gave you a memory test and a gift card to Nordstrom Rack? Would you still not know it?
LET’S USE AN ABUNDANCE OF CAUTION…because we tried using a smidgen of caution and all hell broke loose.
REMEMBER I HAVE YOUR BACK… so just let me know when you need it returned.
LET’S SPEAK WITH ONE VOICE.. and just for fun, let’s make it Daffy Duck’s!
THE WINDOW’S CLOSING…so let’s make a beeline for the emergency exit. I’ll go first and promise to hold the door open for many of you.
LET’S GO IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION…because “Go West, Young Man” isn’t working for any business but motion pictures.
WHO BLINKED FIRST…and if so, does he/she/they/it have conjunctivitis?
I GOT UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED THIS MORNING… and unfortunately, I live in a treehouse.
THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX… unless you’re a rattlesnake being transported to a reptile exhibit.
HE’S KIND OF A LOOSE CANON… which wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t a chain smoker and the manager of our arsenal.
IT WAS A PERFECT STORM…and it perfectly destroyed a perfect fishing village.
WE’RE OPENING A CAN OF WORMS HERE …so we may as well take the afternoon off and head for the fishing hole.
THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS…are plural nouns which, even when juxtaposed or set to music, still mean next to nothing when used to express compassion.
OUR COMPANY IS GIVING BACK…whatever we got caught for having stolen. That’s our promise to you, our loyal customers—and you, our Grand Jury.
A DROP IN THE OCEAN…is what climate change is all about.
A FINE KETTLE OF FISH…can be what you get after you open A CAN OF WORMS.
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR…but not if you invested in Ask Jeeves.
LOVE IS BLIND…and that may be why we FALL HEAD OVER HEELS.
LIVE AND LET LIVE…unless a whole-life insurance salesman tries to convince you, “It’s just like having a savings account”—then adds, “Why, I even have two: one for my wife and one for me!” In which case, feel free to turn your garden hose on him. No cop will arrest you; no district attorney will prosecute you, and no judge will convict you—especially if somewhere along the line they bought whole-life insurance policies. Not now and not at the end of the day.
Ed Goldman's column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock’s Business Magazine, he’s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).
Yes, Virginia
A Weekly Blog by Virginia Varela
President, Golden Pacific Bank, a Division of SoFi Bank, Inc.
photo by Phoebe Verkouw
Without question, the recent failures of Silicon Valley Bank and other banks warrant a full examination of the weaknesses leading to the collapse and who is ultimately responsible.
Yet, the reasons for Silicon Valley Bank’s failure are messy and complex, with many players to hold to account—making it a banker’s “perfect storm” of disaster.
Some point fingers at bank executives and their directors for incompetent risk management. Others blame the technology sector, which concentrated their deposits over the insured limits, provoking a bank run through social media hype.
Some criticize Congress for loosening stress-test regulations on medium-size banks in 2018. Still, others say the primary culprits are the federal and state bank regulators that failed to take stringent and timely action to prevent this disaster.
Congressional hearings are currently underway to dissect the Silicon Valley Bank failure in both the Senate and the House of Representatives. The hearings include testimony from top bank regulators.
“The events surrounding Silicon Valley Bank demand a thorough, transparent, and swift review by the Federal Reserve,” said Chair Jerome Powell in a FRB 3/29/23 press release. “We need to have humility and conduct a careful and thorough review of how we supervised and regulated this firm, and what we should learn from this experience.”
Focusing on just the regulators, is there more action that could have been taken in a timelier manner?
Under current law, the Federal Reserve has the authority to use discretion and apply stronger standards of prudence on banks of any size when warranted. The Fed has publicly gone on record noting that Silicon Valley bank received “MRIAs” (Matters Requiring Immediate Attention) as communicated in its supervisory reports. These matters generally pose significant risks to the organization.
MRIAs are known as informal actions by the Fed. When a bank’s deficiencies are considered more severe or go uncorrected, the Fed may issue even more stringent enforcement than it’s required to make public. These orders include cease-and-desist, removal, prohibition and civil money penalty assessments. Perhaps in the case of Silicon Valley Bank the Fed should have used these more stringent enforcement tools at its disposal.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
It’s always easiest to criticize others in the rear-view mirror. But it’s worth noting that there’s a wide range of enforcement actions that it appears the Fed could have leveled at Silicon Valley Bank months prior to the failure.
While management and the board are ultimately responsible, the mission of bank regulators is to evaluate the safety and soundness of a bank and to align its enforcement actions to a level commensurate to the risks inherent in the bank’s activities.
Using such tools earlier in the process may possibly mitigate the failure of other troubled banks in the future. Here’s hoping.
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