{"id":6812,"date":"2022-05-27T04:25:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-27T11:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/?p=6812"},"modified":"2022-05-26T20:35:04","modified_gmt":"2022-05-27T03:35:04","slug":"up-yer-nose-with-a-tanning-hose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/2022\/05\/27\/up-yer-nose-with-a-tanning-hose\/","title":{"rendered":"Up Yer Nose with a Tanning Hose!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;19px||23px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.7&#8243; global_module=&#8221;2637&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/GPB-Bank-Local-Banner.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;GPB-Bank-Local-Banner&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.goldenpacificbank.com\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; min_height=&#8221;114px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;17px||2px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_post_title title=&#8221;off&#8221; author=&#8221;off&#8221; categories=&#8221;off&#8221; comments=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; meta_font=&#8221;|700|on||||||&#8221; meta_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; meta_text_color=&#8221;#ff0000&#8243; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_post_title meta=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_font=&#8221;Georgia|700||on|||||&#8221; title_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; title_text_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; title_font_size=&#8221;40px&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; title_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; title_font_size_phone=&#8221;31px&#8221; title_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; header_2_font=&#8221;Georgia|300|||||||&#8221; header_2_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_2_font_size=&#8221;21px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-5px||0px||false|false&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<h2>A new nasal spray has bronzing properties<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Author&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; header_4_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||2px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h6>By Ed Goldman<\/h6>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;3px|||||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><span class='et-dropcap'>U<\/span>SA Today reported recently that people desperate to have George Hamilton&#8217;s complexion\u2014medium-well by most chef&#8217;s standards\u2014have been resorting to nasal-spray tanning products.<\/p>\n<p>This really reeks.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=&#8221;@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@&#8221; alt=&#8221;Edgy Cartoon&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Kitchen Confidential&#8221; show_in_lightbox=&#8221;on&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _dynamic_attributes=&#8221;src&#8221; width=&#8221;80%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;93%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;95%&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; max_width=&#8221;95%&#8221; max_width_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; max_width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; max_width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; border_width_all=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_style=&#8221;preset3&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Caption&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Georgia||on||||||&#8221; text_font_size=&#8221;14px&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-16px||||false|false&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>A tan to dye for<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>As you know, tanned Caucasian skin became a symbol of prosperity and well-being in the mid-20th century, along with Eichler homes, Eames chairs and, well,\u00a0\u00a0George Hamilton. Before that, a ruddy exterior denoted you were an outdoors laborer. Similarly, being a bit portly and pasty could convey an aspect of affluence, as if to say, &#8220;I stay inside and overeat because I have either a trust fund or have embezzled funds.&#8221;\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Then Hollywood arose from the La Brea Tarpits, like a debauched Brigadoon. Soon we had jet-setters and water and snow sports that took money to take up. We got to the point that today, if you look a little bit crispy and slightly underfed, the total effect is you&#8217;ve got it made (though not in the shade, natch).<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|off&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.10.7&#8243; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>According to the article, the key compound in nasal tanning spray is &#8220;melanotan.&#8221; It \u201cmimics a natural hormone in our bodies known as melanocytes stimulation hormone,\u201d according to Dr. Joshua Zeichner, who runs the Cosmetic &amp; Clinical Research Dermatology department in New York\u2019s Mount Sinai Hospital. \u201cWhen inhaled, it tells our skin cells to increase pigment production to cause skin darkening.\u201d Pretty damn quickly, in fact, allowing multi-taskers to snort and run.<\/p>\n<p>The process poses some risks, of course, as many phony-baloney, snake-oil, non-FDA-approved idiotic elixirs and bogus panaceas sometimes may.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe inside of the nose is very absorbent,\u201d sniffs Lily Talakoub, founder of a company called Derm to Door (apparently Cancer Dash and Melanoma While U Wait were already taken). This is why Flonase and various anti-histamine sprays are effective at clearing your nasal passages but, unfortunately, won\u2019t also make you resemble an Aztec sun god, even if you get everyone you know to squint. It\u2019s also why snorting cocaine and heroin offer more expedient highs than drinking 17 gallons of Jolt Cola or sipping a broth made entirely of Venezuelan coffee beans.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve had an on-again\/off-again relationship with tanning most of my life.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Amazon Prime Wardrobe&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#dddddd&#8221; height=&#8221;268px&#8221; max_height=&#8221;268px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px|auto||auto|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;5px||5px||false|false&#8221; custom_css_before=&#8221;text-decoration: none;&#8221; custom_css_main_element=&#8221;text-decoration: none;&#8221; custom_css_after=&#8221;text-decoration: none;&#8221; global_module=&#8221;3247&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" data-src=\"\/\/rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/cm?o=1&amp;p=12&amp;l=ur1&amp;category=primewardrobe&amp;banner=03DWP5NJ7FWGFBNBYWR2&amp;f=ifr&amp;linkID=9d46683f285cb917eabd293ba788e99d&amp;t=goldmanstate-20&amp;tracking_id=goldmanstate-20\" width=\"300\" height=\"250\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"lazyload\" data-load-mode=\"1\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>When I moved from New York to southern California at the age of eight, it took a very short time for me to transition from a marshmallow-toned and -shaped kid to a slightly charred meatball. Photos from that period of my life depict The Blob from Ipanema, personally serving as my beach blanket&#8217;s sunblock.<\/p>\n<p>In later years, as the dangers of over-exposure to the sun began to dominate the news and our summer-barbecue conversations, I began to fret that my errant ways as a lad were going to sound my death knell before I was old enough to refuse all membership entreaties from AARP.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=&#8221;endingG&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.3&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>Yet, so far, I&#8217;ve been lucky. Even though I have enough suspicious-looking moles to start my own spy agency, doctors\u2014including the noted dermatological surgeon, Dr. Andrea Willey\u2014have looked at every one of them and reassured me I was fine while urging me to put my clothes back on \u201cSTAT.\u201d I figured that was a medical term meaning \u201cYou hunk\u201d but perhaps not. My subscription to the AMA&#8217;s Lancet journal expired during the Carter Administration.<\/p>\n<p>These days, if I look reddened it&#8217;s usually because I sat too long on the patio of a coffee shop, am having a blood pressure-related moment or am embarrassed by having found out what STAT means. I ought to text George Hamilton and let him know.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code admin_label=&#8221;Amazon &#8211; Tools &#8211; Native (automatically update)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#eeeeee&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;15px|15px|15px|15px|true|true&#8221; global_module=&#8221;4535&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<div id=\"amzn-assoc-ad-b4ba71dc-061f-4a39-bb97-7decd339fcd5\"><\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/z-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/onejs?MarketPlace=US&#038;adInstanceId=b4ba71dc-061f-4a39-bb97-7decd339fcd5\"><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|auto||0px|false|false&#8221; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_top=&#8221;#E02B20&#8243; global_module=&#8221;1122&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;About Ed&#8221; module_class=&#8221;AuthorBioBox&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Georgia||on||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#444&#8243; background_color=&#8221;#eeeeee&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;10px||10px||true|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/about-ed\/\">Ed Goldman&#8217;s<\/a> column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock\u2019s Business Magazine, he\u2019s the <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3jUELxM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">author<\/a> of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_code disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|off&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.10.7&#8243; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>USA Today reported recently that people desperate to have George Hamilton&#8217;s complexion\u2014medium-well by most chef&#8217;s standards\u2014have been resorting to nasal-spray tanning products.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6721,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Up Yer Nose with a Tanning Hose! 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