{"id":6708,"date":"2022-04-29T05:14:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-29T13:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/?p=6708"},"modified":"2022-04-29T07:06:28","modified_gmt":"2022-04-29T15:06:28","slug":"even-those-of-us-with-semi-colons-should-get-a-colonoscopy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/2022\/04\/29\/even-those-of-us-with-semi-colons-should-get-a-colonoscopy\/","title":{"rendered":"Even Those of Us with Semi-Colons Should Get A Colonoscopy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;19px||23px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.7&#8243; global_module=&#8221;2637&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/GPB-Bank-Local-Banner.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;GPB-Bank-Local-Banner&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.goldenpacificbank.com\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; min_height=&#8221;114px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;17px||2px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_post_title title=&#8221;off&#8221; author=&#8221;off&#8221; categories=&#8221;off&#8221; comments=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; meta_font=&#8221;|700|on||||||&#8221; meta_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; meta_text_color=&#8221;#ff0000&#8243; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_post_title meta=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; title_font=&#8221;Georgia|700||on|||||&#8221; title_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; title_text_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; title_font_size=&#8221;40px&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; title_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; title_font_size_phone=&#8221;31px&#8221; title_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; header_2_font=&#8221;Georgia|300|||||||&#8221; header_2_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_2_font_size=&#8221;21px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-5px||0px||false|false&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<h2>&#8230;In which we proceed to describe how procedural a procedure can be<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Author&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; header_4_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||2px|||&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h6>By Ed Goldman<\/h6>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;3px|||||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><span class='et-dropcap'>I<\/span>\u2019m reasonably certain that the next big show to take Broadway by storm will\u00a0not\u00a0be titled \u201cColonoscopy\u2014The Musical!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It appears further unlikely that the show will spawn a video game. Or be adapted as an anime epic, graphic novel. Or puppet show. And though I was trying to resist the urge to say \u201cor that it will stream on Netflix\u201d obviously I lost the battle, for which I apologize.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=&#8221;@ET-DC@eyJkeW5hbWljIjp0cnVlLCJjb250ZW50IjoicG9zdF9mZWF0dXJlZF9pbWFnZSIsInNldHRpbmdzIjp7fX0=@&#8221; alt=&#8221;Edgy Cartoon&#8221; title_text=&#8221;Kitchen Confidential&#8221; show_in_lightbox=&#8221;on&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _dynamic_attributes=&#8221;src&#8221; width=&#8221;80%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;93%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;95%&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; max_width=&#8221;95%&#8221; max_width_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; max_width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; max_width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; border_width_all=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_style=&#8221;preset3&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Caption&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Georgia||on||||||&#8221; text_font_size=&#8221;14px&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-16px||||false|false&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>Possible Cell Damage<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>As you might have deduced, using the process of elimination (oops, I did it again!), I recently underwent the aforementioned procedure. To be precise, the day before yesterday.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I do this every five years or so\u2014though this time I&#8217;d left nine years lapse\u2014because my dad died of colon cancer at 60 and it\u2019s appallingly logical to give up fewer than two days of my comfort to possibly extend my life. I&#8217;m already 11 years older than he was when he died.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|off&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.10.7&#8243; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>One of those two days I was &#8220;giving up&#8221; was to prepare: to go on a liquid diet and drink the worst cocktail ever concocted since hemlock. The medical test itself took only around 15 minutes the following day, which is supposedly a quarter of the time it takes to get your glasses or contacts from Lens Crafters (though never in my experience).\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Calculated another way, think about what a small percentage of your life even two full days amount to: slightly less than .005 percent of a year. To make it really interesting, multiply your age by the 365 days in most years, then divide the number two by that number.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>\u2014Okay, I\u2019ll do the math, since I hate telling anyone else, &#8220;Do the math.&#8221; I&#8217;ll use my own age (71.5 years old) as our base line:<\/p>\n<p>365 days in a year multiplied by the approximately 71.5 years I\u2019ve lived so far equal 26,097.5 days\u2014of which two days represent roughly .00008 percent of my life. Ergo: I figure that if having this preventive procedure adds even five minutes to my life, it\u2019s a pretty solid investment.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|off&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.10.7&#8243; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>Having undergone this test three times before\u2014the most recent time a year after a related operation had left me with only a semi-colon, something I try to use sparingly, but only in my writing\u2014I didn&#8217;t experience the usual, expected, understandable anxiety most newcomers do. The procedure is usually pain-free and as aforementioned, a model of medical brevity.<\/p>\n<p>This time around, however, it required my first taking a COVID test, which I did about 48 hours in advance. I think that having a nurse slide a Q-tip up each of my nostrils may have been more of an ordeal than drinking that pre-procedure hemlock. (I&#8217;m exaggerating. It took her all of three seconds, each nostril. Far more tortuous was when I used to trim my nose hairs using a rotary clipper, the world&#8217;s most sadomasochistic implement since the rack, Judas Cradle and heretic&#8217;s fork went out of style.)<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=&#8221;endingG&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.17.2&#8243; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; sticky_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, my sincere thanks to Dr. Roger Edward Mendis and nurses Rick, Anadee, Tammy, Laurie and a player yet to be identified. They made what could have been a scary procedure feel very procedural.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019re 50 years old\u2014and younger than that if colon cancer runs in your family\u2014you really ought to have get a colonoscopy. Well, what you really should do is check with your physician. Either way, just don&#8217;t wait for the musical.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Amazon Prime Bounty&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.9.2&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; background_color=&#8221;#eeeeee&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;15px|15px|15px|15px|false|true&#8221; link_option_url=&#8221;https:\/\/amzn.to\/3dbvBw4&#8243; link_option_url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; global_module=&#8221;3198&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"728\" height=\"90\" class=\"wp-image-4509 size-medium alignnone lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4.jpg\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4.jpg 728w, https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4-300x37.jpg 300w, https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4-610x75.jpg 610w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 728px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 728\/90;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"728\" height=\"90\" class=\"wp-image-4509 size-medium alignnone\" src=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4.jpg\" srcset=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4.jpg 728w, https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4-300x37.jpg 300w, https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/prime4-610x75.jpg 610w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 728px) 100vw, 728px\" \/><\/noscript><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|auto||0px|false|false&#8221; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_top=&#8221;#E02B20&#8243; global_module=&#8221;1122&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;About Ed&#8221; module_class=&#8221;AuthorBioBox&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Georgia||on||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#444&#8243; background_color=&#8221;#eeeeee&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;10px||10px||true|false&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/about-ed\/\">Ed Goldman&#8217;s<\/a> column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock\u2019s Business Magazine, he\u2019s the <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3jUELxM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">author<\/a> of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_code disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|off&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.10.7&#8243; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m reasonably certain that the next big show to take Broadway by storm will not be titled \u201cColonoscopy\u2014The Musical!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6709,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - 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