{"id":3030,"date":"2020-08-07T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-07T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/?p=3030"},"modified":"2020-08-07T08:50:25","modified_gmt":"2020-08-07T15:50:25","slug":"nostalgia-turns-to-laughter-on-a-wedding-anniversary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/2020\/08\/07\/nostalgia-turns-to-laughter-on-a-wedding-anniversary\/","title":{"rendered":"Nostalgia Turns to Laughter on a Wedding Anniversary"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;19px||23px|||&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.7&#8243; global_module=&#8221;2637&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.7&#8243;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/GPB-Bank-Local-Banner.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;GPB-Bank-Local-Banner&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/www.goldenpacificbank.com\/&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.7&#8243;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243; min_height=&#8221;114px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;17px||2px|||&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243;][et_pb_post_title title=&#8221;off&#8221; author=&#8221;off&#8221; categories=&#8221;off&#8221; comments=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.2&#8243; meta_font=&#8221;|700|on||||||&#8221; meta_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; meta_text_color=&#8221;#ff0000&#8243; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243; min_height=&#8221;75px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Nostalgia Turns to Laughter on a Wedding Anniversary<\/h1>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243; header_2_font=&#8221;Georgia|300|||||||&#8221; header_2_font_size=&#8221;21px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-5px||0px||false|false&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Recalling an observation from years and tears ago<\/h2>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.3&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|||&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.3&#8243;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Author&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243; header_4_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||2px|||&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h6>By Ed Goldman<\/h6>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|auto||179px||&#8221; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><span class='et-dropcap'>F<\/span>orty-two years ago today, at about 10:15 a.m. on 8\/7\/78, Jane and I were married on the beach in front of the Capitola Venetian, one of the oldest condo developments in California.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The service was performed by a nonsectarian minister from nearby UC Santa Cruz whom Jane had found in the local phone book. The witnesses, in addition to some curious\u00a0seagulls, were the woman he\u2019d been living with for several years but wasn\u2019t married to, and a 13-year-old girl, who looked like both of them and spent the entire ceremony looking down as she sifted sand through her bare toes.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/A-Capitola-Wedding-8_7_78.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;A-Capitola-Wedding&#8212;8_7_78&#8243; align=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243; border_width_all=&#8221;1px&#8221; box_shadow_style=&#8221;preset3&#8243;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Caption&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;-16px||||false|false&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>A Capitola Wedding: 8\/7\/78<\/em><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>I mention the couple\u2019s non-marital status only because as soon as the pastor kicked things off by saying, \u201cDearly beloved,\u201d the woman burst into tears and didn\u2019t stop for the entire ceremony. In retrospect, we decided it might have been because she was witnessing still another wedding that\u00a0wasn&#8217;t her own. She wept through the pastor\u2019s reading from Kahlil Gibran\u2019s \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/39X61qT\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Prophet<\/a>,\u201d which we hadn\u2019t selected and gently giggled about because it had been all the rage among college girls when we\u2019d been in college (we\u00a0were now in our late 20s). Then the pastor read a portion of Anne Morrow Lindbergh\u2019s \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/30tDc29\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Gift from the Sea<\/a>,\u201d which we also hadn\u2019t picked but whose lyricism, especially in this seaside setting, quickly turned our gentle giggles to throat clearing and nose snurfing. Getting married suddenly became a solemn occasion.<\/p>\n<p>Our marriage ended sadly,\u00a0nearly\u00a029 years later, when Jane passed away after a nine-year tug-of-war with breast cancer. But even though our life together was tragically abbreviated, we at least had the chance to experience a lengthy union, though not the half-century-plus that some of my contemporaries have.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Amazon &#8211; Best Sellers&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.3&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_module=&#8221;3034&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\namzn_assoc_tracking_id = \"goldmanstate-20\";\namzn_assoc_ad_mode = \"manual\";\namzn_assoc_ad_type = \"smart\";\namzn_assoc_marketplace = \"amazon\";\namzn_assoc_region = \"US\";\namzn_assoc_design = \"enhanced_links\";\namzn_assoc_asins = \"B000HHQ3AM\";\namzn_assoc_placement = \"adunit\";\namzn_assoc_linkid = \"324d9e17b6fc836bcb0af6615be5666f\";\n<\/script><br \/>\n<script src=\"\/\/z-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/onejs?MarketPlace=US\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m now 69 and will be very grateful to usher in 70 this fall\u2014as, in fact, I\u2019ve been gratified by every birthday and grateful for every day of my life\u2014even the afternoon when I was five years old and someone stole my tricycle from the playground. We lived in New York City\u2019s East Bronx borough, in an apartment community called Parkchester, which had been built under FDR\u2019s Works Progress Administration. I\u2019m providing a little ambiance so that you\u2019ll understand why, in that setting\u2014a working-class urban neighborhood in the 1950s\u2014it was perfectly acceptable when Stuart, my middle brother, spotted a teenager riding the trike in a comically, wobbly way, his legs obviously much too long for it, about 250 yards away, ran him down, yanked him off the vehicle and punched the daylights out of him. Stu, it should be pointed out, was only nine and pretty skinny. But when he lost his temper, he could be gigantic and scary. So, yeah, forgive me, but that was one of the days, though tinged with violence, revenge and a small amount of blood, I&#8217;m very grateful to have\u00a0experienced.<\/p>\n<p>Fast-forward, as they say (though who, exactly, \u201cthey\u201d are isn\u2019t clear), to my early days of widowhood.\u00a0I thought at the time what would really get to me would be watching young couples, of any orientation or culture, snuggle as they walked down a street. Young people passionately in love have a way of walking more-or-less atop or grafted onto each other, as though they didn\u2019t have to be immobile or horizontal to embrace or even seriously pet. Put another way, the heart may want what the heart wants, but\u00a0\u00a0in my experience, horny is as horny does.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>Instead, what stabbed my soul from time\u00a0to time\u2014just a little, and even after remarrying, divorcing and having had a number of relationships since Jane died\u2014was every time I\u2019d see a couple, blessed to still be together in post-middle-age and beyond, just sitting together on a bench with their lattes or walking their equally-ancient dog. And more often\u00a0than\u00a0not,\u00a0holding hands.<\/p>\n<p>My favorite example of this ideal came one afternoon when a still-healthy Jane and I went to a late lunch at a local bistro. At a nearby table, a couple who appeared to be in their late 70s (at least), were finishing a bottle of red wine. They chatted and touched each other\u2019s wrists and forearms. \u201cYou know,\u201d I said to Jane, \u201dthat\u2019s the first time retirement has ever looked appealing to me. That married couple over there will probably go home, take a long nap together and get up in time to have dinner.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.0&#8243; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243;]Jane looked over and nodded appreciatively, then said, \u201cWhat makes you think they\u2019re a married couple? Or that they&#8217;re not married to other people for that matter?&#8221; Noting my mouth was agape, she teasingly added, \u201cThe thought of retirement just got more interesting, didn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She was absolutely correct. And when I did lose her some years later, and saw older couples drinking lattes and walking dogs, I still felt sad but also allowed myself the same gentle giggle a reading from Kahlil Gibran had inspired decades earlier.  <span class=\"endingG\"> <\/span>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/amazon_Music_Free_Trial.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;amazon_Music_Free_Trial&#8221; url=&#8221;https:\/\/amzn.to\/2XDFmKM&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;Amazon Banner &#8211; Limited Time&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.3&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_module=&#8221;2981&#8243;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Amazon Best Sellers (electronics)&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.3&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_module=&#8221;3035&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\namzn_assoc_tracking_id = \"goldmanstate-20\";\namzn_assoc_ad_mode = \"manual\";\namzn_assoc_ad_type = \"smart\";\namzn_assoc_marketplace = \"amazon\";\namzn_assoc_region = \"US\";\namzn_assoc_design = \"enhanced_links\";\namzn_assoc_asins = \"B01N557KUS\";\namzn_assoc_placement = \"adunit\";\namzn_assoc_linkid = \"fba3b196f1f09a77dd707ce2c7113d70\";\n<\/script><br \/>\n<script src=\"\/\/z-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/onejs?MarketPlace=US\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|auto||0px|false|false&#8221; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_top=&#8221;#E02B20&#8243; global_module=&#8221;1122&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.6&#8243;][et_pb_text module_class=&#8221;AuthorBioBox&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.5.1&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Georgia||on||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#444&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/about-ed\/\">Ed Goldman&#8217;s<\/a> column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock\u2019s Business Magazine, he\u2019s the <a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3jUELxM\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">author<\/a> of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forty-two years ago today, at about 10:15 a.m. on 8\/7\/78, Jane and I were married on the beach in front of the Capitola Venetian, one of the oldest condo developments in California. <\/p>\n<p>The service was performed by a nonsectarian minister from nearby UC Santa Cruz whom Jane had found in the local phone book. The witnesses, in addition to some curious seagulls, were the woman he\u2019d been living with for several years but wasn\u2019t married to, and a 13-year-old girl, who looked like both of them and spent the entire ceremony looking down as she sifted sand through her bare toes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":3031,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70,19],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Nostalgia Turns to Laughter on a Wedding Anniversary - The Goldman State by Ed Goldman<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/2020\/08\/07\/nostalgia-turns-to-laughter-on-a-wedding-anniversary\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nostalgia Turns to Laughter on a Wedding Anniversary - The Goldman State by Ed Goldman\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Forty-two years ago today, at about 10:15 a.m. on 8\/7\/78, Jane and I were married on the beach in front of the Capitola Venetian, one of the oldest condo developments in California.  The service was performed by a nonsectarian minister from nearby UC Santa Cruz whom Jane had found in the local phone book. 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