Why not let Skype, Facetime or another app I know nothing about whatsoever turn your computer or phone into a conduit to everyone\u2019s kitchen table, living room or patio, depending on what part of the country everyone lives in and how fast this pandemic and climate change are turning event planning into a game with slightly longer odds than those of Russian roulette.<\/p>\n
If you haven\u2019t availed yourself of any of these marvelous devices, there are some challenges and solutions you may want to consider before going \u201clive.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Ed couldn’t ex-Skype in time. Photo by S.L. Fee. [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ hover_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n 1. The Challenge:<\/strong> During this enforced lockdown, ask yourself when you last dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the litter box or showered? Neither Skype nor Facetime is equipped with a smell-ometer (yet) and certainly, dust floating in the air can give your images a hazy, Camelot feel (so can pulling a pair of ecru pantyhose over the lens, which is how Norman Jewison\u2019s cinematographer says he shot (and won an Oscar for) \u201dFiddler on the Roof.\u201d (One unintended result: It made the Cossacks look dreamy.)<\/p>\n To be sure, very few viewers will be able to tell if your home has not merely dust bunnies but dust hippos. Or that your wall-to-wall carpeting is actually a series of throw rugs now linked by debris into forming a pattern. They won\u2019t be able to sniff your litter box or, thank Heaven, you.\u00a0<\/p>\n To recap: It\u2019s not so much how you and your home will actually look or smell in the video transmission as how you\u2019ll feel and behave. If you and your domicile reek, you\u2019re sure to convey this, especially given your tendency to wear not only your emotions but lately, last night\u2019s Rao’s Homemade All Natural Marinara Sauce\u00ae, on your sleeve.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ hover_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n The Solution<\/strong>: Opt for appearing on camera in an extreme close-up. Instead of forcing you to do an elaborate cleanup, the dishes and your laundry, this will require only that you (1) wash your face, (2) trim your nose hairs and (3) floss. If you place the camera a little above you so that it tilts slightly downward,\u00a0\u00a0you may safely eliminate Step 2.<\/p>\n
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