{"id":2055,"date":"2020-02-17T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-02-17T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/?p=2055"},"modified":"2020-02-17T09:08:36","modified_gmt":"2020-02-17T17:08:36","slug":"dying-to-get-into-print","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/2020\/02\/17\/dying-to-get-into-print\/","title":{"rendered":"Dying to Get into Print"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;46px||23px|||&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243;][et_pb_column _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; type=&#8221;4_4&#8243;][et_pb_code _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; disabled_on=&#8221;on|on|off&#8221;]<a href=\"https:\/\/www.tkqlhce.com\/i998efolfn243333C586245C7C5B5\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tqlkg.com\/se121m-3sywHJIIIIRKNLHJKRMRKQK\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\"\/><\/a>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_code _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|on&#8221;]<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dpbolvw.net\/81103ox52x4KMLLLLUNQOKMNNSLMPS\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.tqlkg.com\/p298iw-ousDFEEEENGJHDFGGLEFIL\" alt=\"EntirelyPets Daily Deal - A new deal daily\" border=\"0\"\/><\/a>[\/et_pb_code][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243; min_height=&#8221;114px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;17px||2px|||&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243;][et_pb_post_title title=&#8221;off&#8221; author=&#8221;off&#8221; categories=&#8221;off&#8221; comments=&#8221;off&#8221; featured_image=&#8221;off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.2&#8243; meta_font=&#8221;|700|on||||||&#8221; meta_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; meta_text_color=&#8221;#ff0000&#8243; custom_margin=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px||false|false&#8221;][\/et_pb_post_title][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243; min_height=&#8221;75px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||8px|||&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221;]<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">Dying to Get into Print<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.3&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|||&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.3&#8243;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Author&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243; header_4_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; header_6_font_size=&#8221;13px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||2px|||&#8221;]<h6>By Ed Goldman<\/h6>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.9&#8243; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|auto||176px||&#8221; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.1&#8243;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]<p><span class='et-dropcap'>F<\/span>or my President\u2019s Day column, I\u2019d like to discuss obituary notices\u2014those things most of us claim to not read but secretly do. Mind you, the column has nothing to do with President&#8217;s Day. I just like to seem current.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s start with a not-that-grim old joke.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]<p>Mort Rackowitz celebrates his 90th birthday by booking himself a room in a swank golf-course hotel in Miami. His first day there, Mort plays 36 holes, gets a massage, takes a steam bath and goes back to his room. After a hot shower he stretches out on his bed for a pre-dinner nap and his heart comes to a complete stop.<\/p>\n<p>A few days later his remaining friends and family attend his open-casket funeral. One of the friends looks at him and remarks, \u201cYou know, Mort looks pretty good.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another friend says, \u201cWell, you would, too, if you\u2019d just got back from Miami.\u201d (Rim shot.)<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_blurb content_max_width=&#8221;878px&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; body_font=&#8221;||on||||||&#8221; body_text_color=&#8221;#a3a3a3&#8243; body_font_size=&#8221;25px&#8221; body_line_height=&#8221;1.8em&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|72px||30px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|30px||30px|false|true&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|15px||15px|false|true&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|100px||50px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;|5px||15px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;|13px||13px|false|true&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; body_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; body_font_size_phone=&#8221;23px&#8221; body_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_width_left=&#8221;9px&#8221; border_color_left=&#8221;#e02b20&#8243; border_width_left_tablet=&#8221;6px&#8221; border_width_left_phone=&#8221;5px&#8221; border_width_left_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221;]Why do obituaries run two pictures of the deceased: one when they were young and one in their dotage?[\/et_pb_blurb][et_pb_code admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; width_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]<p>I\u2019ve been fascinated with obits since I was a kid in New York. When I was growing up, there was a slew of daily newspapers\u2014including the Times, Journal-American, Post, Sun, Tribune\u2014and I remember my parents poring over one or more of them to see if someone they knew had died. Since there were so many papers, my folks tended to amass them each day and then skim through them on the weekend.<\/p>\n<p>This practice must have infected my DNA. To this day, if I go out of town for a few days, I never put a \u201cstop\u201d on the three daily newspapers I subscribe to, and ask that my cat-sitter bring them in each morning as routinely as she feeds and tickles Osborn the Magnificent, my apparently ageless tabby.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]<p>And when I sit down after my trip to go through the news and mail, my first priority is reviewing the death notices. When I\u2019m satisfied that no one I know made the list, including me, I mix myself a martini and settle into my easy chair. To be honest, if a familiar name pops up, I may still mix that martini. But a little more solemnly.<\/p>\n<p>Three aspects of obituaries I\u2019ve never understood are:<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]<p>a. The ones that run two pictures of the deceased: one when they were young and one in their dotage (if they were lucky enough to have made it that far).<\/p>\n<p>These side-by-side photos seem unintentionally cruel. I recall my Grandma Molly looking at just such a display and lamenting, in her Russian-Yiddish accent, \u201cWhat can happen to a person!\u201d (It came out more like, \u201cVot ken HEPpen to ha POIson!\u201d) These aren\u2019t your usual before-and-after shots, in which the people are first seen in need of a diet, head of hair or jowl modification, and the second photo shows how terrific they look once they lose 326 pounds, get fitted with a smart toupee or suddenly have a jaw. Instead, obit pix remind you that very few of us look better at 92 than we did at 32;<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]<p>b. The nicknames: I can\u2019t understand why, when my time comes, the obit\u2019s headline will likely refer to me as Edward (\u201cEd\u201d) Goldman, as though my professional name (Ed) was dreamt up out of thin air. I simply can\u2019t envision someone reading the notice, hitting himself in the forehead as though he could have had a V-8, and declaring, \u201cOf course! Now I know why he was called \u2018Ed!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, sometimes the dearly departed had nicknames that make no sense whatsoever. I\u2019m not talking about someone named Margaret (\u201cOur Little Margie\u201d) Tornquist. No, I\u2019m referring to a notice that mourns the passing of Arthur Joseph (\u201cRalph\u201d) Masterson. How did a guy with two very serviceable given names wind up with a completely unrelated third one?<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]c. I grieve (for real) when I read that someone died \u201csurrounded by loved ones.\u201d However, I\u2019m always inclined to wonder: [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]1. Just how many loved ones surrounded the deceased? The newspaper could round this off or just approximate the number but either way, I think it\u2019d tell us a little more about a life lived. For example, if the deceased was known to have an enormous family, and most of them lived in the area, wouldn\u2019t it be useful to learn that he died surrounded by four loved ones, for example? [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243;]2. How did the loved ones surround the deceased? Did they move his bed into the middle of the room? How else could they have surrounded him? In my experience as a patient and visitor to hospitals, the usual protocol is that at least the head of the bed is against a wall. For theatre buffs, this is the difference between staging something \u201cthrust\u201d style (in which the audience is seated on three sides) or in-the-round, which is also called \u201carena\u201d style. But unless the deceased draws a crowd of at least 40 to his bedside, this seems a bit like overstatement, wouldn\u2019t you agree? Unless the guy just got back from Miami, of course. That always draws a crowd.  <span class=\"endingG\"> <\/span><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code admin_label=&#8221;Adsense Horizontal&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; width_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; hover_enabled=&#8221;0&#8243; global_module=&#8221;1433&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; width=&#8221;90%&#8221; max_width=&#8221;90%&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|0px||0px|false|false&#8221;]<script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js\"><\/script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><!-- gs_horizontal_new --><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     style=&#8221;display:block&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-client=&#8221;ca-pub-8489921453224987&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-slot=&#8221;5069548950&#8243;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-ad-format=&#8221;auto&#8221;<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     data-full-width-responsive=&#8221;true&#8221;><\/ins><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><script><!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] -->     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});<!-- [et_pb_line_break_holder] --><\/script>[\/et_pb_code][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.3.2&#8243; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;|auto||0px|false|false&#8221; module_alignment_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_phone=&#8221;&#8221; module_alignment_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221; border_color_top=&#8221;#E02B20&#8243; global_module=&#8221;1122&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.0.6&#8243;][et_pb_text module_class=&#8221;AuthorBioBox&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.2.2&#8243; text_font=&#8221;Georgia||on||||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#444&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;14px&#8221; text_line_height=&#8221;1.7em&#8221;]<p><a href=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/about-ed\/\">Ed Goldman&#8217;s<\/a> column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock\u2019s Business Magazine, he\u2019s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n<span class=\"et_bloom_bottom_trigger\"><\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For my President\u2019s Day column, I\u2019d like to discuss obituary notices\u2014those things most of us claim to not read but secretly do. Mind you, the column has nothing to do with President&#8217;s Day. I just like to seem current. <\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s start with a not-that-grim old joke.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70,21],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dying to Get into Print - The Goldman State by Ed Goldman<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/goldmanstate.com\/2020\/02\/17\/dying-to-get-into-print\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dying to Get Into Print\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"For my President\u2019s Day column, I\u2019d like to discuss obituary notices\u2014those things most of us claim to not read but secretly do. 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