Tokin’ and Smokin’ but Not Topin’?

Is booze going up in smoke?

By Ed Goldman

Somewhere along the line, you must have heard poet Ogden Nash’s decidedly non-PC advice to guys about dating: “Candy is dandy/But liquor is quicker.” It’s from his poem “Reflections on Ice-Breaking.”

One should bear in mind that he was writing doggerel like this during the “Mad Men” era, when getting a gal tipsy enough to loosen her defenses and garments was seen as a ritual of courtship, Playboy-style—not as a possible precursor to date-rape, though we know this is often the result.

Doobie-doobie do

I hadn’t thought about it in years until I read this item just before the start of Summer: “Daily marijuana users now outnumber daily drinkers for the first time ever,” according to research from Carnegie Mellon University. (For you daily dopers: Doesn’t a Carnegie Mellon sounds like it’d be just about the juiciest munchie on the planet?)

Why Nash’s little non-musical jingle came to mind was that during the 1970s he decided to update it by adding the line “Pot/Is not.” It made many of us coming of age in that decade go learn enough French to say, “Au contraire, Oggie.”

“The change in preference is largely being driven by young people,” the report continues. “Of people aged 18 to 24, 69 percent prefer marijuana to alcohol, according to a 2022 survey by New Frontier Data, a cannabis research firm.”

Meanwhile, CBS says “Work ‘N’ Roll, a shared workspace in downtown New York City, is among the organizations hoping to capitalize on the trend among young workers. For as little as $15, guests can toke while they type.” (Note to A-I sales reps: Work ‘N’ Roll place sounds like fertile ground.)

Okay, here’s the deal—as Joe Biden says entirely too often, making you think the next sentence is going to be candid and wise instead of his usual blarney (and this from someone who was going to vote for him, had we both lasted until Election Day):

Writing and doping is as mutually dumb as writing and drinking. I know. I’ve tried both—on separate occasions, I should clarify. Some people who’ve read all the wrong things about Ernest Hemingway think, because he was a world-class drinker—as have been many writers and artists—that he drank as he wrote. Evidence suggests otherwise. According to every biography I’ve read of him and other writers and artists, the one time they were unlikely to imbibe was when they were working. What they did after putting words on paper, paint on canvas or clay in the kiln is another story.

I’m not suggesting there weren’t some occasions during which the line between working and prepping to work didn’t get blurred, or that the writers and artists didn’t (get blurred). And yes, you can certainly toss prose, paint or a pot while marinated but to firmly believe the results will nab you a sale, an award or a magazine cover photo is folly, though I’m sure there are exceptions to the rule.

Another curiosity about the Work ‘N’ Roll-model (see what I did there?) is that it would seem to violate non-smoking ordinances, especially in the workplace. This has always been an open question for me: I buy cigars at a store whose customers are always sitting around smoking said products. And if you ran a cannabis emporium, it’s hard to believe it wouldn’t be peopled with the aforementioned daily dopers engaged in their daily doping. I completely understand a smoking ban everywhere else—and in particular perfume boutiques, propane storage facilities, flower shops and Christian Science Reading Rooms.

All of that said, who wants to join me on slicing open and feasting on a luscious Carnegie Mellon?

Ed Goldman's column appears almost every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. A former daily columnist for the Sacramento Business Journal, as well as monthly columnist for Sacramento Magazine and Comstock’s Business Magazine, he’s the author of five books, two plays and one musical (so far).