It’s National Beer Lovers Day!
Experts report they’ve detected taste in Coors
By Ed Goldman
Good luck trying to locate U.S. Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh today. September 7 is National Beer Lovers Day and you’ll recall from the televised job interview for his current gig that he loves beer.
We also know that he didn’t entirely lie under oath about his view on Roe v. Wade during that interview. He just did what all of us who’ve ever taken a Blue Book essay test without having studied does: Obfuscate.
There Will Be Suds
Specifically, Kavanaugh said, “Roe v. Wade is an important precedent of the Supreme Court. It has been reaffirmed many times. … So that precedent on precedent is quite important as you think about stare decisis in this context.”
I have to give the guy some credit: He not only obfuscated but also tossed out some Latin: his use of stare decisis, which means “determining points in litigation according to precedent,” according to The Goldman State’s very nervous inhouse counsel, Atticus Flinch. (Flinch comes by his paranoia understandably: His closest friend since his student days at the Matchbook Cover University School of Law and Woodshop was a professor/carpenter named Malcolm Practice. To this day, whenever Flinch’s secretary yells to him that “Mal Practice is on Line One,” his blood pressure rises to federal deficit level.)
Well, today is one of those Hallmark celebrations I don’t feel any kinship with, like Grandparent’s Day (since I’m not one), National Nude Day (I even shower fully clothed), and Ferris Wheel Day (I’ve never been on one and hope to go to my grave with that claim intact). To me, National Beer Lovers Day is similar to National Mac and Cheese Day, in that I rarely consume either product. (Ironically, I do like Pasta Alfredo, which is mac and cheese with a better publicist.)
But I rarely drink beer. Or lager, porter, stout or any of the ales: blonde, brown, pale or India pale. To me, all of them smell a bit like horse urine. I can’t claim they all taste like that because thus far in my sometimes-star-crossed life, no one has either suggested or forced me to do so. I think a Blake Shelton fan I offended once at a country-western concert by asking him to remove his Stetson so I could see the stage might have considered it; but his girlfriend dissuaded him from doing so with style and wit, saying, “You look great without the hat, Honey!” While I didn’t quite agree with her—the guy sported a combover that began beneath the back of his collar and continued to make a world tour of his head before alighting just above his eyebrows—I appreciated the effort.
Over the years I’ve found that beer, which this guy had been gulping down as if the manufacturer were on the verge of recalling it, can make people angry and irrational. So, of course, can vodka, gin rye, bourbon, scotch and warm Orange Nehi (I once got very sick from drinking the latter at a carnival put on as a fundraiser by my parents’ temple in Southern California. Of course, this was moments after I’d been on the tilt-a-whirl for the first and, as God is my witness, final time in my life.)
But beer has a particularly dubious past. Hitler formed the Nazi Party by stirring up the masses at German beer halls, at which one suspects refreshments were served. In cowboy movies, guys get all likkered up—on rotgut whiskey, sure, but also on beer—to gain the courage to become a lynch mob.
Blast from the past:
Burt Lancaster as Wyatt Earp is about to help Kirk Douglas as Doc Holliday flee from a hanging party. They’re in a hotel room. Douglas says something like, “Let’s get outta here” and Lancaster, waiting for a signal from Doc’s girlfriend, stands at the window and says, “It’s not time yet.” And Douglas, hearing the mob below, looks at his friend as though he must be insane and says, in essence, “Now seems like a very good time to me.”
If you think I’ve just digressed, I’m sorry. You should have expected me to. I’ve done it before. Or as Brett Kavanaugh and I like to say after a few cold ones, “Stare decisis.”
A Weekly Blog by Virginia Varela
President, Golden Pacific Bank, a Division of SoFi Bank, Inc.
photo by Phoebe Verkouw
THIS IS HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH. ¡BUENO!
I couldn’t let September go by without a shout-out to my Latinx/Hispanic hermanos y hermanas (brothers and sisters).
Hispanic Heritage Month celebrates the deep history and amazing contributions that Hispanic/Latinx individuals have made to our nation, Los Estados Unidos. Officially starting on September 15 and running until October 15, the month also honors the cultural richness of Hispanic/Latinx individuals who come from Mexico, Central America, South America, the Caribbean and many other lands and regions.
Did you know…?
- There are approximately 62.1 million Latinx/Hispanic individuals in the U.S. That represents an increase of 23 percent over the last decade.
- The Latinx/Hispanic community is the second largest racial/ethnic group in our country, comprising 18.1 percent of the total US population.
- There are 33 Latin-American countries that are celebrated within Hispanic Heritage Month, spread across North, South and Central America, as well as the Caribbean.
I’m very proud of the many contributions which Golden Pacific Bank’s Hispanic/Latinx customers have made to the quality and fabric of our lives in the greater Sacramento, Yuba City and Live Oak communities. We closely follow their strong commitment and accomplishments, especially in the local agricultural industry.
I’m also proud of SoFi Bank, which is on a mission to promote awareness, diversity and education for (and of) the many Hispanic/Latinx cultures the bank serves.
We take diversity, equity and inclusion seriously here. These aren’t empty words. We are people of action—and this Hispanic Heritage month, let’s remember that we need to understand and embrace our differences, provide equal and equitable opportunities for success, and welcome one another exactly as we are. ¡Somos Unidos Siempre (roughly, we stick together always and forever)!