I watch as two waiters stand together, back-to-back, surveying the dining room at The Sutter Club’s “L Street Bistro,” the cleverly converted third floor of the institution’s parking garage. It was created to keep serving meals and cocktails to the club’s membership when COVID requirements forced restaurants to serve only al fresco.

Through a complicated process involving a fair amount of bribery, physical threats and, above all, remembering to say “please” and “thank you so much,” Sylvio Sylvie, The Goldman State’s chief enforcer and thief, has managed to cadge a sneak preview of apps due for summer 2021 release.

If your dog could talk, would it ask you things like, “Does this harness make my thighs look chubby?”—or, more likely, “Are you going to finish that quesadilla?”

Apparently, we sheltering humans weren’t the only ones who put away a few extra groceries from March 2020 to March 2021, the pandemic period also known as The Year Of Living Microwavically.

According to a reliable though anonymous source, I’m a ”selfish walnut.”

The accusation was leveled at me a few weeks ago when I took what I thought was the last available parking space at the Jensen Botanical Garden in the town of Fair Oaks, California, just outside the capital but still in Sacramento County.

I used to compliment people on their eyeglasses. It was a throwback to my childhood when some kids were forced to wear them and, for the most part, weren’t happy about it. It was an easy way for me to make someone feel less self-conscious, no doubt in the hope they would then grow up to…